All this celebrity news is just some bullshit to get your mind off the war.

I think Bush sent that girl to Kobe's room. To get your mind off the war. He sent the girl to Kobe's room. He took the little boy to Michael Jackson's house.

Bush killed Laci Peterson. Bush was fucking Paris Hilton. All of this shit is to get your mind off the war.

Bush lied to me, man. He said we got to move on Iraq because they're the most dangerous regime on earth.

If they're so dangerous, how come it only took two weeks to take over the whole fucking country?

You couldn't take over the Bronx in two weeks. Youd need a month to get the Grand Concourse, man.

They're looking for weapons of mass destruction. They can't even find a whiffle-ball bat.

I didn't go to no fancy school or no shit, but weren't we after bin Laden.

What the fuck happened?

When I heard we were after Hussein, I was like, really?

That's so 80s. The whole war feels like a bad VH1 special.