(August 26, 2010) What would be news is a STRAIGHT Republican in Washington.

Rumors about former RNC chair Ken Mehlman's Complete Gayness have been swirling around for years and years.

Mike Rogers outed him several years back, as part of his campaign to rid the political world of homosexuals who cynically use the rest of the gay community as bait in order to convince rubes, yahoos, bumpkins and other morons to set down the teevee clicker even if it means missing the last five minutes of The 700 Club, in order to go out and vote Republican, due to abject fear of gays.

Mehlman's sins were particularly egregious, since we are after all talking about the guy who helped run the most anti-gay presidential campaign in history, which gave us Four More Years of the Crawford hick and his handlers, Karl and Dick.

Anyway, now Ken Mehlman has something to say!

"Are you there, God? It's me, Ken Mehlman, and I suck bags of dicks! No, God, I mean literally!":

Ken Mehlman, President Bush's campaign manager in 2004 and a former chairman of the Republican National Committee, has told family and associates that he is gay.